theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
