Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How does one acquire holy water?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
