i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
