White coat. Heels.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
