I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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