I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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