I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
