ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
