Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
