you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize