It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
