So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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