Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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