just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize