Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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