You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
