Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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