I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
