Buhtt sex?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
