the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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