you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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