I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He felt like a one man threesome
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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