There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
