I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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