Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
