apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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