Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
