you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
