and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
