I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
