I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
