So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize