Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
