I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
