I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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