Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize