I hope mine doesn't look like that
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
