Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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