Don't you send me to vm
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
