i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize