it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I love having hate sex.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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