"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
