i barfeds in our rink
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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