dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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