ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
