The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
bring money and cleavage
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
