Michael Bay diarrhea
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
