we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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