so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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