you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Two words: nipple clamps
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