READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
