A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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