ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you had me at cake vodka
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
