the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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