WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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