peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
