Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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