my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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