We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
