Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize