i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We were destined to go to rehab together
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
