guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dick very happy bro
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
