covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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