I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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