yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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