If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
